reunited and it feels so good 😍 (at Old Miami)
"The one big surprise is that as it turns out, God is the sun. It makes sense, if you think about it. Why we didn’t see it sooner I cannot say. Every day the sun was right there burning out and other planets hovering around it, always apologizing, and we didn’t think it was God. Why would there be a God and also a sun? Of course God is the sun.
Everyone in the life before was cranky, I think, because they just wanted to know."
After I Was Thrown in the River, Dave Eggers
You shouldn’t have worn those basketball shorts if you didn’t want me to throw a basketball directly at your head 8000 times
You shouldn’t have worn that used Guinness t-shirt if you didn’t want me to kidnap you to Ireland and make you brew it for the rest of your life
You shouldn’t have worn that old high-school sweatshirt if you didn’t want me to force you to body-swap with a young 14 year old boy who is just beginning his formative years at said high school
Hey baby, why don’t you go into the backyard and build me a large deck. It’s your place to be out amongst nature and use your hands. Become one with the birds and the wood. Don’t think, just build. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Hey baby, why don’t you go to the garage and sit there for a few hours and maybe secretly drink in the garage because you’re having trouble dealing with the pressures of family life and also maybe plink around with some tools? That’s where YOU belong!
What are you, on your blue balls? Is that why you’re so grumpy?
I don’t think men should speak they should just fix engines and give me their seed to produce babies I will eventually put in viral Vine videos
All that guy needs is a good hand job. Then he’d stop complaining.. I know all he needs is my really inadequate horrible lazy too-short hand job because honestly I don’t know much about the male anatomy
Guy needs to just shut up and learn their place: all they have to do is hike up those sexy short shorts and show off those shrively balls
You’re being SUCH a dude! Woman up.
You’re looking good with those khaki shorts on, dude. Reaaaaaaaal good. I wanna see your happy trail, baby. Come on, show me your happy trail. Your pubes. Show me your pubes. Ohhhhh what? You’re a loser or something? You don’t want to pull off your khaki shorts for me? Go home and play with your video games, you geek!
As a woman, I don’t really like when men look unnatural. They should look natural. Instead of wearing polos and jeans, they should be slightly less erect and wear the fur of mastodons and carry around a club of some type. Also only grunt. They should be cavemen.
Guys shouldn’t hold positions of powers because they are way too emotional. They get really upset over basketball games or video games, and like, what if we have a male president and his team lost? He probably would bomb China.
He’s a nice guy, but he really wears a lot of Axe perfume out to bars. Like, I’m not judging or anything but it kind of gives off the vibe that he just hands it out for free. I just don’t really dig guys like that and I like to kind of devalue them for their sexual choices.
MAKE OUT MAKE OUT MAKE OUT MAKE OUT *all chant while two dudes are talking*
Chop off your penis if you don’t want us to stare at it
some new stuff I’m working on, I get tons of anonymous messages like this every day and while this isn’t unique to women, the content of the messages and the frequency in which I get them are definitely related to my gender. I almost exclusively get them after I post selfies. The authority people feel they have to share their opinion on my appearance is something myself and many other girls online deal with daily.
This is so so so so important